happy birthday, mom!
11:18 PM
Because I’m not a creative writer anymore, here’s a reprint from three years ago with a few changes:
WOMAN TURNS
50[53]!Gabrielle Chapais Turek Rudderow celebrated her birthday
shortly[almost two weeks] before the SuperBowlat Lewene’s in Annapolis SundayMonday. She was joined bya select group of friends and familyan unknown amount of people possibly for a private celebration, possibly not.
The visibly upset mother of four made one of the last wishes of her lifetime shortly before gorging herself with cake.An avid [archer], skater, motorcyclist and teddy bear collector, Rudderow expressed gratitude for
the party held in her honorher many blessings.
“Sigh,” a suprisingly non-intoxicated Rudderow said. “[I’m halfway dead.]”Other attendees were in a state of shock at being included on the guest list.
“I can see green and blue auras around my hand sometimes,” exotic dancer Jennifer Everett said.
“Bob, you’re crazy too,” she added. “I’m crazy, we’re all crazy.”
Ruth Reese agreed: “Everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs, Bob. [Just because Sherpaguide has the audacity to claim he cured a boy’s cancer doesn’t mean he’s a complete and utter waste of flesh. By the way, despite what you previously thought I’m a psycho, too.]”
Reese, Everett, and Lauren Rudderow continued to stare as if they were the only sane ones in the room, a fact quickly disputed by almost every other guest.
See today’s Style Section for photos of the event. Evidence of alien, psycho-kinetic and telepathic occurrences experienced by the lunatic fringe were unavailable at press time.
Okay, so the article was mostly about how crazy my sister and cousins were three years ago, and I reprinted this article mainly to cover up the fact that I forgot to call my mother on her birthday. (I even backdated this post in a lame attempt to cover it up; How awful is that?) Especially helpful was my sister’s text message this morning at 1:11 a.m.:
“U didnt call mom 4 her birthday! >:-* ~Jamkinz”
Probably a message I could have used while it was still January 23.
Still, hope you had a somewhat happy birthday mom, especially considering all the stuff that’s going on with grandmom. I’ll call you right now.






I’d been putting off a this bit of grunt work for a while. It represents a big piece of the puzzle, no pun intended, and hints at the overall concept.